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by JujuBardie
Summary: Little Raditz loves secrets and surprises. But this one was something he least expected. [MPREG]
1. Kept in Wraps

_**Author's Note: **_

_**And this is the shit that my brain poops out at 4 o' clock in the morning.**_

_**Yep, it's an mpreg. Go ahead and laugh.**_

* * *

Raditz was probably the only Saiyan on Vegetasei to live under a set rule: to call his parents by Father and Daddy.

And this is how he addressed Bardock and Toma. Although he was only five years old, Raditz knew his father despised being called "mother". It felt too feminine for the man with a scar on his face. The little boy climbed up on the couch to sit beside his father, who had his head cupped with one hand, with his elbow sitting on the arm of the couch, and watched TV with him. He then looked up at the adult - however, he was greeted with a bit of an uncomfortable expression.

"What's wrong, Father?" he happened to ask.

Bardock looked down at his son. Now that he did so, Raditz was sure that something was not right about him. The older man looked a bit distracted by something, like something terrible was going to happen. The boy thought he could see Bardock's hand shaking against his face, but he wasn't quite sure. After all, he did happen to be awake this late at night, like most Saiyan children would normally be. It was especially difficult for these little monkeys to follow through a set bedtime because they were always so hyper. It was also a bit difficult for a child to actually focus on not dozing off while it was so late at night.

After much hesitation, the older man finally spoke;

"Well, I have a feeling that your Dad and I...have cooked up a little surprise for you..." It was obvious that there was some uncertainty in his voice, but he raised his eyebrows and made a fake smile to at least ease Raditz's apparent confusion.

As he predicted, he was right; the long-haired child _was_ confused.

Now giving his father a puzzled expression, Raditz wondered what this "surprise" would be. Would it be a big dinner? Well, he did say, "cooked" after all...then again, he wasn't too sure he understood that correctly. His parents definitely weren't good cooks, but he agreed to feast on Toma's cooking every once in a while. And then at any other time, they'd go eat on the remains of inhabitants that Bardock and Toma took home from their missions.

Then again, that one guess didn't make much sense due to Bardock's strange behavior - hell, he was almost shocked to actually see him _smile_. But Raditz was much too young to think more clearly, so he continued to go along with it.

"Are we having a big feast?" the boy finally asked enthusiastically.

Bardock's eyes widened, and he forced out a chuckle, bringing his hand closer to his mouth as if he were covering it up. His eyes then darted to the other side of the room, and then back to Raditz. Oh, the crazy stuff that children say...

He moved closer towards Raditz, as if he were about to tell him a big secret. Raditz loved secrets, especially about the royal family. Although he wasn't old enough to understand half of them, he enjoyed it when Nappa, who often watched over him when his parents were gone, would talk about how the king was a "ladies' man" and how he "got around easily". He had no idea what those terms meant, but they were secrets, so Raditz had fun teasing the young Prince about those, - including one in which Nappa had mentioned the Prince still wetting the bed - without the king's knowledge, when they played around or went on their own missions together.

As Raditz turned his head sideways, bracing himself for what he was about to be told, Bardock's gaping lips grew closer to the child's ear, and...

"Bardock! I found it!"

Hearing Toma's voice coming from the kitchen seemed to have relieved Bardock. He high-tailed it out of there, leaving Raditz hanging. The young boy began to follow him, but was denied access to the kitchen when he was pushed back.

"C'mon Raditz, go watch some cartoons or something," Bardock demanded, his demeanor changing from just a short while ago. Raditz did not want to listen, but if he wanted to avoid a beating, then he had no other choice. With his arms crossed and a frown on his face, he turned back around towards the living room and sat right back down on the couch, muttering some bad words that he didn't want either of the men to hear.

Raditz then began to pretend to watch a television program about a professional boxer. However, he was more interested in his parents' secret conversation than the television, and fetching the remote, he turned down the volume to be able to hear them better. Why they were whispering, he didn't really know, but no one was going to get away with telling secrets without Raditz around. He then looked back towards the kitchen, now hearing his parents' footsteps - _pitter, patter_ - and quietly slipped out of the couch.

With his tail wagging almost by the floor, Raditz tiptoed towards the parent bedroom, where the door was closed. Almost pressing his ear against the door, he began to eavesdrop on the parents' conversation, as he noticed that they were no longer whispering, but still talking in more softer tones.

"...how are we gonna tell Raditz?" he heard his daddy say.

"The hell if I know. We'll tell him later. But that all depends on how this goes," his father replied. Then, to the boy's horror, he then seemed to be walking back towards the door, his hand twisting on the knob.

•••

Raditz had already ran off - well, rather, tiptoed in a much faster pace - by the time Bardock exited the bedroom. The little spy's mission didn't go so well, but Raditz was unwilling to give up. He didn't see where Bardock had went, so he was hesitant to go out spying again. In his bedroom, he rested on his bed, snuggling up against the pillow. He had already made sure he went to the bathroom before coming to bed, as he didn't want to be like the Prince, nor did he want another beating from Bardock.

Waiting for the right moment to sneak up on his parents again, he closed his eyes for a brief moment, but instead fell into a deep sleep. He didn't even feel the kiss that Toma placed on his forehead every night.


	2. Water Balloons

_**Author's Note: **_

_**For this fic, and future works also, the average Saiyan pregnancy lasts for only six months, compared to a typical pregnancy, which lasts for nine months. Saiyans are a much more active and stronger race, so in order to speed things up and get back to fighting and other violent duties, they have to have a much quicker time in order to let their child develop. Saiyans can only stand still for so long.**_

* * *

Fast forward three months later, and most of Raditz's spying attempts resulted in failure. They either ended up with him having to make a series of quick escapes, or if he didn't leave fast enough, he'd get spankings from a very pissed-off Bardock instead.

At least one mission benefitted in helping him find something new in the bathroom trash.

The discovery occurred when Raditz was about to take his morning bath, with Toma filling up the bathtub with water. After the tub was filled and Toma had left for a brief moment, the boy happened to glance towards the bathroom trash nearby and found something strange. A grayish rod stuck out from the rest of maybe over a couple months' worth of toilet paper in the trash, and he wondered what it was. Whatever it was, he was eager to take a look at it and know why it was in the bathroom of all places. Moving away from one end to the middle of the tub, he reached over for the mysterious tool and started observing.

It smelled kind of funny and it looked odd too, but Raditz continued to study the tool anyway. There were two dark bars displayed on the tiny screen; was it some kind of game? Maybe a weird game of hockey or ping-pong? The young boy didn't really like how this "console" looked, plus it didn't really have any buttons or controls to push either. He turned the stick-like tool sideways, then back vertically, wondering if he was even holding it correctly. However, he didn't really have time to figure out the mystery to this weird contraption as Toma had snatched it away as quick as he came back to the bathroom.

"Hey! That was _my_ game!" Raditz cried out.

Toma chuckled, giving the boy a puzzled look.

"Trust me, you don't wanna play _this_ game, kiddo," the bigger man replied, holding the "game" only by his index finger and thumb. Raditz couldn't help but wonder why he was holding it like that...then again, he _did_ find it in the trash can.

"Why not? Is it too old? Because it looks old," the child asked.

"It _is_ old! And plus...," the ponytailed man suddenly paused, discarding the rod back into the trash. Raditz quickly took his attention off of the tool and locked his eyes on his daddy, who held his lips tightly shut, as if he were hiding something.

"_And?!_" The boy demanded.

He then noticed a small smirk on Toma's reddened face, plus his big body seemed to be shaking slightly. Aggravated, Raditz reached over to grab the adult's tail, but was stopped when Toma regained his composure.

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you! Just don't touch me with those hands!" he begged, holding tightly onto Raditz's scrawny wrist.

"Then _please_ tell me." Raditz demanded.

As Toma was about to open his mouth, - _THUMP!_ - his head was suddenly pushed forward by the strong force of a rather particular-looking boot being thrown at him. His hold on Raditz's wrist loosened due to the impact.

"Don't do it, Toma!" Raditz heard the voice cry out from another room.

Toma rubbed his head and turned around, seemingly shocked about what just happened.

"Well, this is what happens when I don't keep my mouth shut," he muttered.

Raditz huffed. Another secret was stolen from him yet again. He picked up the black and green boot from the floor, soaking the rug with the bathwater dripping from his arms, and aimed it towards the exit of the bathroom.

However, Toma grabbed onto his wrist yet again, this time squeezing it even tighter.

"Don't even think about it, kiddo," he ordered, as the boy heard a serious tone to his voice, "Your father's...not in the best mood."

Raditz was lucky that Toma wasn't as strict as Bardock was. If he had ever acted up, then Toma would give him a fair warning first, instead of resorting to spanking right away. The bigger man continued to scrub Raditz's body with the sponge, especially giving a good scrub on his hands.

•••

Although he ran around the house naked after the bath, Raditz was surprised that Toma was the one chasing after him; normally, that was Bardock's duty, and after yanking on his hair or his tail in order to make him stop, he'd spank him and yell at him about how much of a little shit he was. But he hadn't really dealt with that lately, as Raditz later noticed while playing with his toys in the living room. Bardock would still yell, but after that, nothing else...and maybe a series of fits which involved him throwing stuff at Toma, but that was about it. Most of the time, he would pass by him laying down on the couch, or wrapped up in mountains of blankets on the parent bed. He lied down more than he would actually walk around, plus he stopped going with Toma and the crew to their frequent missions. The only time when he would actually go somewhere was when Toma took him to the doctor every month, even when he knew he didn't like hospitals and all that jazz. He wasn't quite as active as he used to be.

There was another thing that the boy began to notice; his father was _growing_.

Not height-wise, but rather developing a bit of a "beer belly", as the Prince would call it;

"I'm sure that your dimwit father will get a beer belly if he keeps drinking so much," he would say to Raditz in one of their missions.

"Why? What's a 'beer belly'?" The slightly younger boy was clearly confused.

"It's what you get when you drink beer too much. Beer makes you fat. That's why my father drinks wine, and he's still healthy," the Prince would reply.

And Raditz didn't even see Bardock drink that lately. In his short five years on this planet, he had already understood that beer was his father's favorite beverage, but now he had only seen him drink water instead. It wasn't like him to just drink water over and over again for the past three months.

He was convinced that his father was turning into a sort of a water balloon. He assumed that he drank so much water that the water and the beer from the past had bloated him up and his growing size was the reason why he wasn't moving around so much.

Seeing him lay on the couch and putting his hand over the small bump, Raditz wanted to approach him, to ask why he was getting so big; however, he didn't want to insult him and get him riled up. He hesitated for a moment, as he continued to observe his father. His tail swayed and swayed as he saw Bardock slowly rub on his stomach from top to bottom, back and forth.

Then suddenly, Bardock jerked and covered his mouth. Raditz's tail perked up, alarmed at the sudden move. The older man quickly jumped up from the couch and ran out to the hallway, and a few minutes later, Raditz heard an unpleasant sound, a sound he's been hearing every morning for three months. A harsh cough came out of the man's throat, followed by vomiting into what may have been the toilet.

Now, he was convinced that Bardock was becoming a water balloon, with maybe a bit too much water in its system.


	3. Jack in the Box

_**Author's Note:**_

_***If you spot some words such as "littler" or "bestest", just remember that this is in a kid's perspective, ok?**_

* * *

Raditz wanted to wake up to the aroma of a nicely cooked breakfast, which normally consisted of cooked alien meat, sausage, and chicken. The thought must have made him drool extensively in his sleep, making a bigger puddle on the pillow than usual, with a handful of his hair getting soaked in it.

However, a rude awakening was unleashed upon him, as he heard the awful sounds of his father vomiting yet again.

After hearing the vomit being flushed down the toilet, he took a peak at the bathroom, which was a few doors away, without leaving his room. All he could see was one end of the bathtub and, to his shock, his father slumped over on the floor. The boy quickly ran to the bathroom to aid him, and to find out what happened.

To his relief, Bardock was alright, smiles and all, but the fact that the man had practically been puking every morning for six months now concerned him. He still believed that his father was turning into a balloon, but he couldn't exactly figure out why the older man had seemingly developed barfing routines every morning (normally this was during nighttime after he would get wasted with Toma). Despite the fact that he knew his parents went to doctors' appointments together, he questioned if those appointments were even helping. Even if he did puke every morning, he was getting bigger and bigger, instead of getting smaller and smaller. In fact, the man was now even bigger than the average balloon, and he was even less active than he was before. The new walk that Bardock had developed was not helping either.

Was his father finally going to explode?

Almost hysterical, Raditz asked his father if he was alright, if he needed any help, why he was even smiling, et cetera. Berating him with all these questions, he expected something like a bonk in the head, being thrown across the room, or get told to "leave me the hell alone, kid!"

However, to his surprise, Bardock finally answered with a soft chuckle, and held his boy close, still lying on the rug on the floor.

"Hey, I'm alright, kiddo," he spoke softly as he began to stroke on his child's hair, "I'm used to it. Trust me."

Raditz didn't know what to say. He had never seen Bardock like this before. It kinda reminded him of Toma, but just a bit more...mean. And weird too. More on the weird side though.

He was definitely thinking about high-tailing it out of there and going back to bed like nothing happened when Bardock felt on the wet strands of hair.

The older man's smile almost completely vanished. Raising up a little, he analyzed the wet strands of the long hair on Raditz's head, as the boy stood frozen before him. Raditz slightly stood back, tightly shutting his eyes and preparing himself for Bardock's next move. This time he was asking for it-

A loud fit of laughter erupted from Bardock, as Raditz opened one eye. What was so funny, he thought. He could do nothing but stare at his father, whose large body shook as he continued to laugh. As he rose back up into sitting position, Bardock held onto his swollen belly to support himself. He then forced out a cough to stop himself from laughing (Thank god, thought little Raditz.) Then, he fetched a towel from the cabinet beside him and washed the slobber off of Raditz's hair as best as he could.

"Got hungry in your sleep again, huh?" The scar-faced man asked. Raditz didn't bother to respond.

Suddenly, the boy found himself being scooped up in his father's arms, almost sitting atop of his portruding belly. In disbelief, Raditz could only stare at the view around him; the distance between himself and the floor, the closed toilet seat, and the rest of the view of the bathroom, and then, back to the smiling face of his father. With no time to question the situation, he wrapped his arms around the back of Bardock's neck and burying his face on his broad shoulder, he held onto him tight as they both exited from the bathroom.

***  
The next moment, Raditz was now laying beside his father on the parent bed, where he had never been allowed to lie in unless he was asking for a spanking, or when Toma would invite him after abruptly waking up from a nightmare. Glancing up at the bigger man, he saw him stroking his belly yet again, as he had been doing for the last six months. With the other arm wrapped around his son, Bardock turned over and met the boy's stare.

"Raditz?" he uttered.

"Yes father?"

"Do you ever wonder what you were like when you were a baby?"

The sudden question made Raditz's tail raise up a little bit. He scooted closer to his father, eager for some storytime.

"Hmph," the older man chuckled, "I take that as a yes, then?"

Clearing his throat, he began,

"Well, boy...you were as much of a little shit as you are today, if not more, since you were still in diapers. Anyway, when you came into this world, you did so at a rather...weird time."

Looking back at his son, he seemed to be relieved that he still had his interest, unlike with Toma when he told his own tales.

"Your dad and I were gonna do something stupid with the rest of the guys - our crew - and we were gonna make it look like you were gonna be a monster baby or some shit like that."

"A monster baby?" Raditz uttered.

"Yeah...We were pretty young when you came up, so don't ask. Anyway, Panbukin and Totepo totally fell for it, but of course Celipa didn't buy it. Instead of believing you were a baby from a monster we fought against during one of our missions, she bet that I had a fling with somebody else (You'll learn that word when you get older.),

"So, the three of us were at it for probably a few days. Your dad actually thought I was messing around and thought you were someone else's kid - of course, that was a load of crap. Celipa however, stuck to her word that I was sneaking around, which she had NO evidence of," he chuckled.

"God, that woman...she'd never take her eyes off of me. Not 'cause she liked me, hell no, she just wanted me to just, y'know, slip up in the midst of all this pointless fighting with To-, erm, your dad. She wanted to fuck me over like always. Well, eventually, that would backfire just four days later."

"How so, father?" Raditz asked.

"I'll tell ya. Right when I was wanting to get back to leading our missions and fighting, which was a pretty stupid idea, something came up..."

"Huh?"

"Right when we were ready to fly off to a planet, I was just about to get in my pod. Your dad just got in his, but couldn't get the damn thing started. The others were just about to take off. However, I didn't even get to close the door of my pod, as I was feeling some pains. Luckily, the guys took the time to notice me, so they stayed a bit longer. A while longer, even. They knew, your dad knew, Celipa knew, Panbukin knew, hell, even Totepo knew, that something was just not right.

"I felt something, and I knew it was my stomach. Somehow, it hit me - it was time."

"Time for what? What was it, father? Was it the monster?"

Bardock chuckled again, ruffling on the child's hair.

"No way. It was _you_."

Raditz's huge eyes widened.

"But...how?"

"After what seemed like an entire freakin' day, you came into the world. I gotta thank Dr. Planthorr for that. And after you came, all the bitching and fighting stopped. Toma...I mean, your dad, knew that you were his, and Celipa accepted that she lost the bet. Panbukin and Totepo loved you, and Panbukin would call you his little man, and you know he still does. You already got that going for you already." He ran his fingers through Raditz's thick head of hair.

"So father...what was I like _after_ I was born?" Raditz asked again.

Bardock chucked yet again.

"Ohhh boy...you're too much, you know that?" he replied, pulling his boy closer to his stomach.

As Raditz continued to listen on throughout the day, Bardock explained his early years, such as when he was very rough with his parents, how he cried throughout countless nights, how many times he was thrown across the room by Bardock (and luckily saved by Toma), how he had kicked Toma in the face the first time he was bathed, and how he turned into an Oozaru for the first time.

However, Raditz would not be awake to hear the rest of the story about his upbringing. Instead, he would be reliving those days, in a way, by dreaming about how he would scare the pants off of his parents with his Oozaru form and later succeed in his very first mission on Planet Pear with the Prince of all Saiyans.

_Wah, waaaaaah!_

Raditz quickly jolted up from his bed, hearing a much different sound rather than vomiting. However, he kinda preferred the vomiting over the loud crying of a baby.

_A baby?!_

Raditz entered back into spy mode, and sped out of his room. Heading towards the parent bedroom, he heard a lot of commotion, along with the baby's crying. He heard the cheerful jeers of his parents, the joyous laughter of Dr. Planthorr echoing across the house, and a rather haggard-looking Bardock panting with something in his arms.

Raditz entered the bedroom, walking by Planthorr and getting closer to his parents' bed.

The baby. That was an actual baby, wailing in his father's arms. A strange-looking baby too.

"_Surprise~_," Toma cooed.

"Look, Raditz..." Bardock smiled, showing off the newborn to the child, "...you have a new little brother. Now ain't that somethin'?"

A new brother? It looked almost like Bardock, but only it was littler, much paler, and it had no scar, he thought. He looked a bit nicer too, and he probably got that from Toma. As the infant's cries began to soften, Raditz could only stare as his father held the baby close. He noticed that a tail was also portruding out from above his buttocks, and he reached out to touch it.

"Don't pull on it now," warned Toma.

"I'm not!" hissed Raditz, "Anyway, what's the brat's name?"

Bardock was still in his soft-mannered mood, just like yesterday, as the long-haired boy learned, and he only chuckled at him. Raditz lightly stroked on the baby's tail as his father continued to hold the infant dearingly against his chest.

"His name's Kakarot. Now as the big brother - that's you -, you've gotta set an example for this little guy, alright? I don't want you and him fussing so much later on, you understand? Respect him, and he'll respect you back," Bardock told him.

"He'll look up to you, kiddo," Toma added, as it was his turn to hold the new baby, "You'll be a grown-up for him, won't ya?"

_Kakarot._

From what various friends say about their own siblings, Raditz knew that this new baby would get all the attention - for now - and become very annoying, especially at night, but hey, he was a big brother now. He was a grown-up now - well, compared to Kakarot anyway. He could play with him and fight with him, and boss him around in future missions.

He could probably get used to this.

Maybe this was the biggest, and bestest, surprise he's ever gotten yet.


End file.
